Di ko kaya to... I can't pretend anymore. I don't think i can keep pretending that i don't feel pain when you tell me things. To tell me your plans. Plans that do not involve me. But then, i don't Have the right to want it. You're not mine. I want to be yours but you don't want me. You simply don't. And that's what kills me.
I want to forget. I want to let go. Please... Somebody... Help me...
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Maybe
I want to forget i ever entertained these stupid thoughts. Forget that i gave the one thing i value most in my life. What happened to the barrier that has guarded it strongly all my life!? Where did it go?
Now i'm left with the tattered remains of my heart. How pathetic. Why would i want to experience this feeling? Is there no other way? I can't keep hoping for something to change. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to keep getting disappointed. Will this always be the same things that i will go through day by day? When will it stop?
Now i'm left with the tattered remains of my heart. How pathetic. Why would i want to experience this feeling? Is there no other way? I can't keep hoping for something to change. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to keep getting disappointed. Will this always be the same things that i will go through day by day? When will it stop?
Second best
It pains me to think that i have always been and probably will always be the second best in people's lives. No matter if i make every effort to be a better person for them or not. No matter the sacrifices, no matter the love.
Suitors cancel at the last minute, friends do the same, some without leaving something or saying something as a by-your-leave. Really sad. I don't think i'm as good a friend as i think i am for all this to happen to me. I'm possibly not that important.
Why can't i make myself become more special to people's hearts? I hate it. I love you but i can't accept the fact that you will just blow me off with no thoughts to me. That you choose to simply leave me without saying anything. I'm not a fucking machine that you can do that and expect me to be unaffected. I'm sorry but i'm not like that. I won't accept that. And it hurts a lot.
Thing is, i get jealous of your attachment to other people. I can't take it. It's not as if you're mine. Far from it. Worse part is, i can't stop. I don't have the right, i don't have what you want. I'M not who you want.
I wish i can be who you want... It hurts.
Suitors cancel at the last minute, friends do the same, some without leaving something or saying something as a by-your-leave. Really sad. I don't think i'm as good a friend as i think i am for all this to happen to me. I'm possibly not that important.
Why can't i make myself become more special to people's hearts? I hate it. I love you but i can't accept the fact that you will just blow me off with no thoughts to me. That you choose to simply leave me without saying anything. I'm not a fucking machine that you can do that and expect me to be unaffected. I'm sorry but i'm not like that. I won't accept that. And it hurts a lot.
Thing is, i get jealous of your attachment to other people. I can't take it. It's not as if you're mine. Far from it. Worse part is, i can't stop. I don't have the right, i don't have what you want. I'M not who you want.
I wish i can be who you want... It hurts.
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